Everybody's at Cocolatte, but I'm stuck here at home, sulking in front of my computer, and currently having a thousand and ten questions running thru my head.

Sucks.

I don't like flooding such a public domain with all my problems and insecurities, it makes me out to b someone incredibly vulnerable and paranoid, but I really can't help it sometimes. Mayb I'm plain old psychotic and mayb it's just me, but I like to relate my current situation to that of the future. And when I see a very foggy one, I question, how can I improve the present state in order to achieve a clearer and happier forthcoming. But when few solutions can b applied to this myopia, and by solutions I mean rather undesired ones, confusion and the blues starts to kick in.

I begin to wonder whether I deserve to b in this whirl of frustration, and why I was even in it at all. Have I made the mistakes? I don't know. Sometimes, I pretend to be ignorant or inane, and I don't speak much, as though important things are nth I consider. But substantial thoughts do filtrate in and out, as imbecilic as I may seem. Infact, I think I think too much and too deep. Most people my age don't see things through that far. Most live life for the now and leave the(or rather "their") future for their parents to worry.

Ok, I'm straying off course now.

I think pouring out everything I've felt and been feeling, and have thought and been thinking to the one who's suppose to know(well, according to the invisible book of relationships that is) isn't exactly the best idea. Cos I know sometimes, it's just me, and people get tired of reassuring a constantly insecure soul. And I'm beyond sure that whatever that has recently went through my mind'll cause friction nth less than the kind car tyres experience in a major accident, and that's a hell lot. Smth I don't have the time and the heart for.

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Whatever goes. Fuck all who fucking tells me that certain things are fucking exclusive and that I fucking can't know cos I'm fucking not present. Fuck u.

I'm angry and explosive. Excuse me.